So, Tuesday Night. Interesting night to say the least. Quick set-up. Dinner at fridays then Bowling. Bowling and Dinner were good. However, the real story of the night was my friend managing to get drunk and wonder off into the night. I was very unsure as to how he managed to get across the street and end up behind Wal-Mart Beside the Target. I pondered this for many a minutes. How was this possible? Then I knew.
Sexy Toast Man.
This mythical creature has long been rumored to appear to drunks in need.....its never been verified; Because in all honesty who believes what crazy crap a drunk has to say? I'm absolutely certain that this urban legend is indeed true. It more than likely guided him across the frozen asphalt field and held his hand as they moved through the Target forest. Why he ended up leaving him beside Target I'll never know. The only thing I can guess is that Sexy Toast Man happened to see a duck (which just so happens to be his mortal enemy). This would explain my friend being left by the Target and not being taken back to the Toast lair.
The old wives tale goes like this: Whenever and Wherever there is a drunk in need Sexy Toast Man will appear and take them to his lair. Everyone knows that once there he treats them to Beer and Toast because they are the only things that will prevent/cure a hangover.
So next time you see a drunk in need lookout for his Toast-Mobile and follow him so we can ascertain the location of his secret Toast Lair!
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